little bean baby

This past weekend, I packed up all but a few of my breastfeeding supplies including my pump and stored it all away for the next baby. Mason was no longer interested in breastfeeding and I was barely producing any milk when I pumped at work, so after agonizing over this decision for a few weeks, (and experiencing any and all forms of mom guilt during that time) I decided it was time to just stop pumping during the day. I will continue to breastfeed in the morning for another month or so (I am not quite ready to give up our mornings together just yet) but at this point my breastfeeding journey is coming to an end.

He is almost 11 months old and is now obsessed with real food and essentially weaned himself over the past three months. Everything I read recommends breastfeeding for at least the first 12 months while some recommend 2 years. But 11 months was our number and I just have to accept that.

I just can't believe that breastfeeding, something that was so tough and brought on so much heartache and anxiety would be so painful to let go of. I was devastated all day putting the pump and bottles away, not devastated to be done with breastfeeding or pumping (definitely won't miss pumping) but that my baby was no longer a baby.

At 10 months old, we have now flown with Mason 3 times and each time was a drastically different experience.

The 1st time, we flew with Mason was at Christmas when he was 5 months old. We were more than ready. And with what felt like a thousand bags we somehow made it to the airport on time. I tried the whole nursing during take off and landing but it was rather stressful, and there really wasn't much room for nursing the way we were used to. My husband tried so hard to hold up a nursing cover so that I didn't expose myself to anyone on the plane but that all went out the window when Mason starting fussing and wouldn't latch.

It is so true that he felt my stress, it was one of those situations where I had prepared in every way and was doing everything I could to ensure he didn't lose it. But just as babies do, he had a complete meltdown and walking up and down the plane we went until he calmed down. I gave people the nod and quick "I'm sorry" but in the end we got lucky...he only cried for a few minutes...I realize now that things could have been WAY worse.