This past weekend, I packed up all but a few of my breastfeeding supplies including my pump and stored it all away for the next baby.  Mason was no longer interested in breastfeeding and I was barely producing any milk when I pumped at work, so after agonizing over this decision for a few weeks, (and experiencing any and all forms of mom guilt during that time) I decided it was time to just stop pumping during the day.  I will continue to breastfeed in the morning for another month or so (I am not quite ready to give up our mornings together just yet) but at this point my breastfeeding journey is coming to an end.

He is almost 11 months old and is now obsessed with real food and essentially weaned himself over the past three months.  Everything I read recommends breastfeeding for at least the first 12 months while some recommend 2 years.  But 11 months was our number and I just have to accept that.   

I just can't believe that breastfeeding, something that was so tough and brought on so much heartache and anxiety would be so painful to let go of.  I was devastated all day putting the pump and bottles away, not devastated to be done with breastfeeding or pumping (definitely won't miss pumping) but that my baby was no longer a baby.